


Flicker

by SophiexHorayne



Series: Flicker-Niam [1]
Category: One Direction(band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Flicker, Flicker-Niam, Give Flicker the grammy it deserved, M/M, Niam - Freeform, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 14:06:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11968980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophiexHorayne/pseuds/SophiexHorayne
Summary: Niall is afraid of losing the boy he loves, the boy who gives him a flicker of hope, a light in the dark, who makes him feel magical and electrical. He is so afraid he is going to lose him.





	Flicker

Niall remembers. He remembers when he saw Liam at the party, leaning against the bar chatting to Cheryl, her eyes dancing wildly around him. Niall doesn't feel jealous, usually, no he's rational, he knows Liam is never interested in anyone but him, but that time was different. That time he was sure Liam returned her wild eyes with his own, and when he spoke in her ear, _spoke in her ear_ , she laughed and touched his chest and Liam took her hand for a moment, only a moment, because then he glanced back, where Niall was left alone awkwardly, feeling dizzy and empty and so full of pain he wants to scream. He remembers Liam making eye contact with him, a 'it's not what it looks like' eye contact, but Niall was stumbling out of the party, keeping his emotions straight, blinking back tears because he is sure that maybe there are paps around.  He remembers Liam's voice as he ran after him. Him begging Niall to wait up, him grabbing his arm to stop Niall leaving.

"It's not what it looked like. I swear we were just catching up and I-"

"You held her hand. Her eyes were wandering all over you and you _held_ _her_ _hand_." Niall's voice was small and stiff, quiet because he can never be sure who is about.

"It wasn't like that, please Niall, I love you." His voice drops to a whisper, his forehead resting against the smaller lad's, "I swear I love you. I'm not interested with her."

And Niall remembers being naive and foolish. He remembers nodding, he remembers Liam's nose brushing his, he remembers him clutching onto Liam's jacket. He remembers forgiving him.

He wipes his eyes, how long had he been crying? He looks away from the ceiling, down at where Liam sleeps beside him in their hotel room. Liam wouldn't leave him, right? What he saw did meant nothing, when he kissed her cheek the other day it meant nothing.

He looks beautiful as he sleeps, peaceful, gentle, faultless. Niall does not wish to wake him. He breathes against Niall's shoulder, slowly, Niall is used to the pattern. He's in a deep sleep.

"I can't lose you." Niall whispers on ragged breath, voice crackling. "I don't think I can live without you." The truth of that scares Niall.

He remembers first meeting Liam, at bootcamp as roommates. God he was the cutest, most handsome boy Niall had ever seen. Of course he remembers Liam on The X-Factor a couple years previous, winking at _her_ , singing beautifully. He could hardly believe his luck when he was put in the same room as _The_ Liam Payne. They'd got along perfectly, and Niall was aware of all the butterflies and feelings and magic every time he was around him. They never left and then Liam kissed him once, after being put in a band, after coming third on the X-Factor, after their first single. Liam kissed him and it was perfect- electrical.

Niall remembers it. He remembers the first, shy 'I love yous' under the bed covers one night on tour. He remembers their first time doing it and their first date and all the magic and he knows it never left.

It never left for him.

But Liam is always texting, texting _her_. And he is always giggling at his phone and he won't let Niall in on the joke. And they kiss less and Liam hasn't taken Niall out in months, not since Zayn, not since their fourth album. And Niall isn't sure if Liam feels it anymore and it hurts. Sometimes, he reminds Niall he loves him, sometimes. He hasn't said it in a while. He doesn't kiss meaningfully anymore, he doesn't hold him in bed anymore.

Niall stares at the ceiling, blinking more tears. _Stupid fucking_ _tears_. "Does he not want me?" His whispers shakily to no one but the ceiling. And the ceiling doesn't respond so he looks away, back at Liam. He takes his hand, he kisses his fingers.

"Please don't leave." He whispers desperately, "Please don't."

**Author's Note:**

> What have I done I'm so sorry. This is my first niam fic on here BUT I have a wattpad Love_Niam_Forever where there are plenty more fics from me.


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